Friday, January 30, 2009
I can't feel you move yet, but when you curl up in a ball I think I can feel you. If so, I felt you laying in weird places today. This morning you were low, kind of on my bladder again (but i forgive you) and after lunch you were kind of on the right in a ball I think, laying in just the place to make my pants feel too tight. I can only vaguely tell so don't feel bad if I'm wrong and I'm mistaking big gas bubbles to be you.
I registered for your baby stuff and I must say I never thought I'd be so picky when it came to a baby, but you're worth it. Just one day I hope you look back to all my posts and letters and know I tried to make it all perfect.
We get to find out whether you're my Lily or Jax in less than a week and I really don't even care anymore either way... I just want to know you're growing and developing well... and I want you to finally have a name.
I hope maybe I'll feel you move before then, but kicking or no kicking, just keep your little heart beating. Hearing it makes my day every time.
<3 Sweet dreams little one!
Also I wanted to mention that I added almost everything to our registry at Babies-R-Us. The registry number is 72334221 I plan on sending out registry tips when my mom sends out invitations since a lot of my family might not be so registry savy :) Anyways, if you check it out and I forgot some major important stuff, please let me know. I like to have it all in one place so I know what things I can start buying myself as well. That's all for now... it's lunch time... the best time of day!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Dear Baby Boy or Girl (as you like to play hide and seek with the goods):
Move it up..just a little bit. I'd like to make it through the night WITHOUT peeing myself please!!! I will be forever gracious!
Your constantly peeing Mommy <3
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
When he left the room so I could get undressed I asked the nurse if it was really too early. She said I should just ask him again. So he came back in and I told him that Justin wouldn't be there for the 18 week visit so we were hoping to find out today. So he said he'd try to see for us. So he did the pap smear and all that good stuff, and pulled the sonogram machine over. We saw the head, the body, the spine and some ribs, the legs, some little feet moving around... and the thighs. BUT ... well... butt was the problem. The baby was butt down so he/she was too low to see the goods. :( The doc tried a couple different angles but to no avail.
SO... the news is.. no news! I go back Feb 5th, so just two short weeks, but Justin will likely be away for work. The doctor was going to tell his office asst. to lie to me and tell me I couldn't go until the 12th just so Justin could be there, but he didn't relay the message fast enough, lol! So we're hoping Justin can get a flight back in time for the appointment but if not I'll have him on speakerphone so we can get the news together.
So that's all for today. Maybe by the next visit I'll also feel some kicks going on. I can only hope.!
Because today is THE day.. hopefully. We have our 16 wk visit today and we asked the office staff if doc wouldn't mind doing a sex u/s today since Justin will be away for the 18 week u/s. They said he usually doesn't mind as long as he's not crazy busy. I CAN'T WAIT.. I'm soooo excited and nervous. UGH. I did 45 minutes of Wii Fit stuff just to pass time. And now I have to shower and by the time I'm done getting ready it will be time to go go go!!! YAY!!!! Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed that Baby Smith cooperates today!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I just looked at it and thought... HOLY CRAP.. I ONLY have 166 days left!!!
And then had to calm myself down by thinking...that's like 5ish months. phew!
Oh hormones. They make you say, do, feel, think crazy things!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Since my last post, not too much has changed, besides the "snow storm" we had on Monday, which was great! Justin was off work all day so we spent the day running errands and enjoying the snow. We didn't go out and play in it because I've decided I'm allergic to the cold (eek) but the boys definitely enjoyed it.
Our big sixteen week news will hopefully be the sex of our baby. I had my doctor's appt. scheduled for tomorrow at 9:20 am. This isn't my big appt. but I was planning on asking the doc for an ultrasound anyhow to see if we could tell the sex. Well, turns out Justin will be on travel for work for our big ultrasound, so that gave us more of a reason to find out tomorrow. BUT, then the doctor's office called and said the doctor wouldn't be in his Towson office tomorrow, and asked if we could reschedule for Friday. I was super sad and was even tearing up when I called Justin to find out what time he'd be able to leave work. When I called the office back, I scheduled my 16 week check-up on Friday for 2:50 pm and I even asked if they would be able to do an ultrasound. Because Justin will be out of town for the 18 week visit, they said the doctor would probably do the ultrasound for us Friday as long as we remind him right of the bat. This definitely made the switch in appt. a little better for us.
I also started up our registry at Babies R' Us today. There's nothing on it yet, I just took care of the paperwork part (which wasn't much really). Now, when we're ready (maybe Saturday morning after we know the sex) we can go around the store with the registry gun and add things to the list. It will be listed under Samantha Smith as the primary person. You can also search Porter or Justin Smith. I'll update again when we've actually added a majority of the things to the list!
And... for your viewing pleasure again, here are three pics. The first one is 15 weeks 1 day, the second is 15 weeks 4 days, and the third is 16 weeks 1 day. Enjoy!!
Check back sometime this weekend to see whether we'll be welcoming in baby Liliana June or Jackson Scott this coming July!!!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
It was my 15 week 4 day victory (seeing as it hadn't been done in a good 3 or 4 days).
I'm sure all the pregnant women out there understand my excitement. My "I pooped" post got a great response from all the pregnant women on babycenter. ha ha.
In other news. I must say our much loved Baltimore Ravens weren't successful against the Pittsburg Steelers tonight. It was a hard fought game that just happened to be better fought by that damn yellow team (ARGH!!!). But much congratulations to our hometeam for beating the odds and making it this far. Who would have thought our rookie head coach and rookie quarterback would have led our team to the AFC Championship after not having a break since week 3. All I can say is good luck Willis McGahee, get better soon. And as for the superbowl.....
And as for the Ravens...rest up cuz the fans will be anxiously awaiting another exceptional season in the fall!!!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
I just need to put out there how terribly disappointed I am with college. It's nothing like it EVER should have been and I'm so frustrated that I HATE college more than I like it. Besides the fact that I've gone NO WHERE and I am constantly looking at people's pictures who have gone to all these contries and studied abroad and just had a great time, I am so incredibly disappointed with the Nursing Program. ( Getting married and the expanding family have not put a damper on anything, mind you. Even if I'd never met Justin I don't think i would have been able to travel because I have bills [car, insurance, phone, etc] that I can't just pass off on anyone else to take care of on my own, so I have to work. I also don't have parents that can just fork out the money for me to study abroad. And while I know many people use loans, I haven't take one loan out yet for school, and the thought of doing so to cover both travel AND my bills makes me shudder. I don't regret for one minute my decision of marrying Justin and having this baby. There's nothing I want more.)
I never really wanted to go to Towson ( I had my heart set on UD, however despite my 3.98 GPA, my 3 varsity sports, being president of my class, being involved in a mentorship/internship, being part of the yearbook and taking 4 AP classes [two of which I got college credit for because I passed the exams] they did not feel I was good enough), however since I've been there at Towson, I have not been able to complain about the gen-ed classes (except the one teacher who suggested I was on drugs because I fell asleep in class after working 50 hours that week). I don't particularly care for the campus or many of the people. But MOST OF ALL... I absolutely HATE the nursing program... the one thing I should love. I tried so hard to get into the damn program and was so bummed when I was put on the wait list TWICE... but ever since I've gotten in the program I have absolutely NOTHING good to say about it. Every semester they have managed to do one, two, three, usually more things than that to screw us over. There is NO communication in the program and there is EVEN LESS organization. None of the professors are consistent with what they teach, and some of them are too busy with their own lives to make sure their students are well prepared. I have had an amazingly wonderful advisor while in the program, but beyond her and the one or two decent professors, I can't say many other good things. The clinical instructors are all SO different that there's no consistency there (especially when a paper my instructor gave me a 65 on would have gotten a 90 from another instructore.. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!). It's been horribly terrible since the VERY FIRST day, and it just doesn't seem to be getting better.
The latest is that we just got our schedules: Clinical one day a week (for 8 hours), Lecture one day a week (for five hours), and another class one day a week for a few hours, plus any gen-eds or pre-reqs we might have signed up for individually. So two days off.
Well then I find out tonight from a friend that apparantly we have clinical TWO days a week, which was not mentioned at all on our schedules, and the instructor that told her this assumed that it was common knowledge. Now I don't have a big issue with my schedule, but some others have already given their jobs their availability for the spring (jobs that are already frustrated that they had to wait THIS long for these schedules) and now they have to go back and change things. Had we not found out about this tonight, and had I not emailed the professors requesting a mass email to all students about this info, we may not have known for another week and a half, so at that point when people go to their jobs to explain the mix-up their bosses might not be so thrilled about it, and some people might even have lost their jobs because of this.
AND... I found out yesterday that we are REQUIRED to receive a flu shot this semester. FIRST OF ALL, I haven't gotten a flu shot since I was maybe 6. When I did get it when I was six, I got a fever and threw up a few hours after getting it. I've never gotten it since and I don't have an intention on doing so, especially now that I'm 15 1/2 weeks pregnant. I would love to know when they planned on telling us about this as well, you know since it's SO EASY to get a doc appt at the drop of a dime.
I am just so disappointed in this program.
Oh.. and by the way, the program is SO bad, and the students are getting so little out of it, that our test scores put us TWO points away from Towson losing their NURSING ACCREDIDATION. Yeah... two freakin points. This is so great to find out through the grape vine, because you know the program wouldn't tell us. We heard it from outside sources and had to research it for ourselves. When we finally questioned a professor about it, she gave in and told us it was true. It is so comforting that I'm busting my ass in a program that is doing so poorly.
It's so hard to enjoy anything to do with school, when all you do is hate what you're doing. I was so excited to finally get into the program, yet ever since I question why I even signed up for it. It is so hard to be excited about graduating and becomming a nurse, when I despise anything that has to do with nursing at this point. I was just telling Justin that what I really want to do is travel every now and again to help people: like going to Africa to work with AIDS patients, and going where there are hurricanes and tsunami's and things like that to help out. But then I told him that having a nursing degree might make that better and should give me the opportunity to do those things maybe one week every six months or so. But even knowing that I really want to do those things doesn't make getting through this hell of 4 1/2 years any easier (actually only 2 yrs in the program).
Anyway. That's all I have. I just wanted to get that off my chest before my hormones get the best of me and I break down in tears.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Cute, huh? What will they come up with next!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
As soon as I got home I opened the package right away. Here is the dopper I got:
We of course tried it out right away and heard our little one's heartbeat, which was a steady 158 (plus or minus a few). (Unfortunately I don't know how to load a sound byte so I'll keep trying later).
I am super excited about this because it definitely brings some peace of mind knowing that the little one (whom we've nicknamed Nuva while in utero) is doing well. Now, I'm ready to feel some movement. While I haven't felt the butterfly flutters or kicks or anything just yet, I do think I felt the baby balled up below my belly button and to the right, and because that's where we found the heartbeat, I think I might have been right about that.
UPDATE: Justin definitely admitted he was excited about the doppler as I was opening the box. He originally thought it was a waste of money and told me to "do whatever you want hunny"
In other news, my mom and I visited Babies R' Us this past week to look at strollers. After trying out EVERY stroller they had on display, I found one that I liked best that was relatively light and very easy to get the carseat in and out of both the stroller AND the carseat base, which is a plus. It was the gray and green Chicco Cortina travel system like the one here:We also picked up some cute onesies (greens and yellows), wash cloths, and recieving blankets. Justin and I decided to start putting away a case of diapers, bottles or diaper wipes a week so we're more than prepared when the baby arrives. We started with a big case of Pamper's Swaddlers (which is the same brand that St. Joe's uses). I really want to use pamper's because they donate money: for every pack of pampers they donate money to pay for one vaccine for kids in third world countries.
Justin and I also FINALLY ALMOST decided on names. All along we've had a boys name picked out but we were struggling with a girl's name. So we've decided that if we have a boy, he will be named Jackson Scott Smith (Scott being Justin's dad's name). If we have a girl, (which is what I think) she will either be named Liliana June Smith (June being the month we started dating and the month we were married) or Delilah June Smith.The nicknames will either be Jax (boy) or Lily (either girl's name). She could also have the nickname DJ if we name her Delilah June. Check back for updates on that one :)
UPDATE: Justin totally loves the name Lily June :)
And, for your viewing pleasure, I took some more pics today, so here is 14 weeks, 6 days:
And from my view point looking down:
In MORE news, we had a great Sunday, heading off to church in the morning and then joining Laura, Bert, Mackenzie and a lot of other good friends at Bert's house to watch the Ravens put a beating on Tennessee. Our friends Will and Brittany were fortunate enough to make the trip to Nashville to witness this great, but very stressful (for the pregnant ladies) game and I'm sure they had a great time. Justin was super excited to have his Flacco jersey arrive in time for the game....and I was once again more than willing to sport Derek Mason's number for the day.
We look forward to another week of Ravens wear and we cannot wait to witness the Baltimore Ravens take down the Poopsburg Steelers once and for all for the AFC championship. GO RAVENS!!!!!
Thursday, January 8, 2009
"Rent a Dynamic Doppler fetal heart monitor for use in your own home and share the joy of your pregnancy with your family and friends. Our fetal Doppler's are not microphones that just amplify sounds. Our Doctor quality fetal doppler's use Doppler Ultrasound and are used by Doctor's worldwide to listen to the fetal heartbeat. Our baby Doppler can pick up your baby's heartbeat as early as 10-12 weeks into your pregnancy.
p.s. If any of the other expecting ladies would like to use the doppler, I'll rent it for 20 a day. Hee hee. Just kidding. But let me know and we'll set something up so you can borrow it for a day or two.
UPDATE:: I've been tracking my heart monitor with UPS, lol. AND it's on time and should be here no later than Monday. Unfortunately I don't think I get the luxury of a Saturday delivery but I think I'll last til Monday... BUT NO LATER!!!!!
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
I'm super bummed by this because, despite having made it to the 2nd trimester, I'm still scared EVERY day that we could still lose the baby, which is why I wanted the heart sound monitor.
So, I've decided that if anyone wants to buy me the REAL doppler (like the doctor's use) from Craigslist for $150.... I'll totally accept.
But really, I think I might drive myself crazy unless I get this thing. So keep your eyes out for an updated post saying I bought one... but I don't know if Justin would say yes to that expensive, not a 'necessity' buy :/
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
So I decided to step on it tonight after Justin went to bed. I love some of the balance games so I did them first. I then tried out the yoga. I was just doing the deep breathing exercise to start with, and low and behold, i got nauseous and dizzy. Go figure.
Maybe I'll stick to the balance games for now. LOL.
I'm still not very hungry, although I did manage to eat a half a sandwich last night, which definitely filled me up. Yesterday afternoon my wonderful husband, who I might add took off work to take care of me yesterday, took me to Bateman's after the doc visit. I willingly ate the crab dip but had to force myself to eat the hot turkey sandwich. Each bite seemed like way too much... no wonder I've lost five lbs. Thank god my doc isn't a weight guru like I've been reading about some of these OB's. The nurse practitioner, however, did give me kind of a look when she took my weight. What can you do.
I think because of the lost weight my bump watch is kind of at a stand-still. I haven't taken any pics in the past couple days, but I think I'll attempt one or two today. I'm also going to attempt to cook dinner. Justin will be pleased if I pull that one off. AND I might even attempt to finish the cleaning I started last week, lol.
I must mention that today starts the second trimester for us. It's very exciting to have gotten this far and I can only pray to keep things going. We look forward to finally being able to feel the baby move around soon. I thought I was feeling flutters at some point, but unfortunately it was probably gas. But I know, any day now I should feel those little butterfly like movements.
I'm thinking of investing in one of those dopplers. I would love to get one of the real ones... I found one on craigslist for $150 which is a great price, but still a little expensive for us right now. Instead I think I'll add babies r' us on my to do list and get one of the not as great ones for $26. They say the cheap ones are only good for the third trimester, but I've been reading that some women have been able to hear it sooner by manipulating the gadget (like putting a pillow over top of it to block outside noises. I really hope it works. I've been trying with my stethoscope, despite knowing I won't be able to hear the HB with it until around 20 weeks. All I pick up with it now is my crazy loud bowel sounds. So I guess babies r us is it.
I've also been looking on craigslist for gliders and ottomans and baby clothes. So many people are selling newborn clothes and 3-6 or 6-9 months clothes, bundles of them, for so cheap (cuz kids grow out of them so quickly) but they've been advertising them for boy or girl.... so for another 4 weeks we'll have to hold off on that. I'm totally not against hand-me-downs so I'll keep checking on there for that. I also want to go to thrift stores for clothes because a lot of people I know have bought brand new clothes (with tags still on) for like $1.00 a piece or cheaper. So, why not. As far as the gliders go, I found one I loved for $100 so I emailed the people about it and now I'm just waiting to see if she still has it.
So that's our week so far. I'll be sure to update the pictures soon, hopefully. As for now, 14 weeks down 26 weeks to go. Keep praying for us.
ps. speaking of prayers, if you wouldn't mind, my friend's brother-in-law was sent off to Afghanistan for 8 months, leaving wife and new baby behind. So maybe say a prayer for Chris too.
Monday, January 5, 2009
I woke up at 5am to pee... but also because my throat felt like it was on fire and my ears were itchy and sore. So I made my way downstairs and had some more hot tea (decaf thank you) and some soup. I laid on the couch all day downing about five cups of tea, one bowl of soup, and 2 or 3 freeze pops. I started feeling a little better in time to head out to see friends of the family for some great food and football. I actually had a bigger appetite and had a lot to eat. When we got home that night I was able to sleep pretty well. I was hoping this was the end of the cold.
I woke up Sunday feeling quite icky again, but not too horrible, so Justin and I headed to church and then to our friends Bert and Laura's house to watch the Ravens SPANK the Dolphins. It was a great game and I was feeling much better. Later that night, however my cold came back full force and I was in the same throat/ear pain as I had been before. I attempted some more freeze pops, more soup, sprite, water, anything I thought would help and NOTHING did. Then, while I aldready was tossing and turning in bed because of my throat and ears, my sides, lower back, and lower abdomen starting hurting unbearably. I woke Justin up at five a.m. crying my eyes out and begging him not to go to work. Still not able to sleep I sat on the couch trying to shut my eyes some until 9am, and trying to decide whether to visit my primary care physician, my OB, or the hospital. I wasn't bleeding but with such horrible pain I was preparing for the worst. My OB doctor's office opened at 10 and we were able to get an appt with him for 12:40 today. Meanwhile I researched everything I could about pain in those areas, and my guess was either the worst, or a UTI/kidney infection.
We got to the doctor's and I found out I had lost five lbs in two weeks. This didn't suprise me much because I haven't had much of an appetite and because I gained a good amount of weight over the summer before finding out I was pregnant so I figured I wouldn't gain much right off. The nurse practitioner (I'm assuming) then put the gel all over my stomach and pulled out the doppler. In our previous visits the doctor had not used the doppler so we hadn't had a chance to hear the heartbeat. We held our breaths, and low and behold, there we heard it. The little swishing, beating heart of our baby. It was nice and strong at about 150 bpm, which is around what they hope to see. We were instantly relieved, but still worried about all the pain. The doctor then came in and checked my fundus location (the top of the uterus) to make sure I was growing like I should, and then asked about the pain. As soon as I said where it all was he was 100% sure of himself when he said that it was basically growing pains. He said that as the uterus grows and the ligaments attaching the uterus to the body pull and stretch, I'll feel muscle pains where those ligaments are attached. He also said that the pelvic bones (in all the areas I had pain) are starting to soften as they should, creating a kind of unstable pelvis (which is normal). Because of this, the bones are free to move some and a lot of the pain is because they are rubbinbg up against one another. What a relief, right? I was almost hoping for a UTI so I could have an antibiotic and in a few days no more pain. Instead this bone rubbing can go on for quite some time so I could have this pain for a while. But he prescribed a mild narcotic (which I plan to make my saving grace if this pain doesn't let me sleep) and even gave me eardrops and told me to take sudafed for my cold.
All in all it was a pretty crazy day. We were quite relieved to FINALLY hear our baby (it was pretty amazing) and definitely relieved to find that everything is okay. Our next visit is 16 weeks and the doctor told me today that our SUPER sonogram (the measuring and sex determining sonogram) will be at 18 weeks. It makes me feel much better to know that there are only 2 weeks between the next two sonograms. Hopefully by then I'll be able to feel the baby move and won't be such a worry wart about what's going on in there.
Regardless, please keep us, and baby smith, in your prayers. We have quite an adventure up ahead of us and can only hope for smooth sailing from here on out until we get to meet our little guy or girl.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
Friday, January 2, 2009
Despite my lack of getting things done, I should be enjoying my break time before the next semester starts. Instead I am anxiously waiting and praying for the next doctor's visit to come which is at the end of January-meaning my break will almost be over at that point. Never, ever had I wanted winter break to end so badly, especially because I hate going to class when it's cold out, but I just can't help myself. I'm also anxiously awaiting other things:
1. a bigger belly... so i don't just look like I'm gaining weight
2. some movement to go on in there... come on baby Smith, give me something (I'll even take punches right now)
3. to answer the BIG question: Baby Boy Smith or Baby Girl Smith
4. to finally decide on a girl's name :/ (Justin and I are far from agreeing on this one)
5. to be able to buy baby stuff :)
6. to start on the baby's room (I know I'm looking WAY far ahead here)
7. for warm weather so I can start wearing cuter clothes and not be cold all the time
8. for summer, so we're just that much closer
Attempting to just enjoy winter break just isn't satisfying enough this year.
Anyhow, we spent our New Year's Eve working, like we did last year. Only this year I was actually bartending which was WAY more exhausting but WAY more financially rewarding. It was a pretty long night (we didn't leave til well after two) and half way through the night my back hurt so much that my eyes were ready to burst with tears. I blame it on bending over to grab beer out of an empty cooler and water bottles off the bottom shelf of the cooler, but regardless it was not fun at all. Around midnight we had a champaigne toast (free to the patrons) which meant, at an already busy bar, only one bartender was able to wait on the customers while the other (me) had to pour 36 bottles of cheap, nasty champaigne. My hands still hurt from twisting those caps off. Lucky for me though, Justin was a "roaming" security gaurd that night so he was able to visit me at my bar for my midnight kiss :) After work, we headed to Mex next door (because they stay open until almost 8am on New Years, and Justin had some drinks with some other employees from Ramshead. I joined him and ordered my vodka cranberry (hold the vodka) in a liquor sized cup so nobody would suspect anything yet. I think I was successful. We probably didn't get home until 4:30 am and boy were we tired.
We attempted to sleep in on New Year's day but my dad woke us up with a phone call around 10. Ugh. And because the sun was shining in our bedroom so brigtly, I could NOT fall back asleep. So I stayed awake and after some convincing, Justin and I left to have dinner at my parents house around three. (Funny, but the only place I've been getting my veggies in is there, because they have them with every meal...and this time the cabbage and kal with the ham and potatos was just perfect).
We got home around 6:30 and I was sooooooooooo tired from the night before that I slept on the couch from then until midnight. This didn't do me any good though when I tried to sleep after that in bed. Instead I got my first round of reflux issues. I was perfectly fine sitting up but as soon as I laid down I felt like I had bubbling stomach contents hanging around about halfway up my esophagus. Thank you pregnancy hormones for that. But it could be worse... it could be vomiting or heart burn. Thank you God for it not being those. So I stayed awake. I laid in bed, wide awake, thinking about is it a boy, is it a girl, where will my babyshower be, how many will I have (with such a big family), can I manage to get a volley ball court whereever it will be, who will watch the baby, will I work over the summer next summer, and anything else that floated through my head. I gave up around 2:30 to come downstairs, browse anything baby on the internet, and indulge in a bowl of leftover spaghetti. I finally was able to fall asleep around 5am and now, here I am.
And speaking of now, I am ridiculously craving chili cheese fries with onions from johnny rockets so I might have to make a mall visit today to indulge that craving. It's a necessity at this point.
Anyways. That's how our new year's went. Not too exciting, and not too relaxing either, but I spent it with my husband and that's all that matters. So Happy New Year to everyone else. I hope it will be a good one.
I got all the way to Arundel Mills and as soon as I walked in the mall I realized I didn't want chili cheese fries anymore. :( So I saw a friend working at Remomo's and asked if they had crab dip. So I said hi, and sat down to realize their crab dip was REALLY crab and spinach dip. This didn't excite me but I would have felt bad leaving at that point so I toughed it out. I think I'll be paying for that decision later unfortunately.
I've also been noticing lately that my engagement ring, wedding band, and grandmother's ring are all starting to leave ring lines on my fingers. :(