Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Countdown: 9

Just nine more weeks until baby Jackson is here :) Of course I'm hoping for only 7 more weeks, but we'll see if he's on time like his daddy, late like his mommy, or early... like the milk man?? ha ha.

Anyway. Not too much exciting going on today. Justin left for Pittsburg on Sunday for work and he won't be back until tomorrow. So it's just been me and my destructive doggies for the past two days. It's funny though... they assume that just because Justin's not home, they have a RIGHT to sleep on the bed. Last night I was barely in bed before they jumped up and laid down. I don't mind them sleeping there, it's actually more comfortable with them there, but man.. give me a chance to get comfortable first.

Today was my presentation for my Research class that I've been fretting over for weeks. And thank Goodness it's done. Now I have a heck of a schedule ahead of me: exam tomorrow morning and another presentation immediately following; ERI nursing exam on Friday morning; work Friday night; Exam on Monday morning; Class and online exam on Tuesday; Exam on Wednesday; Doctor's appt. on Thursday and I think our first baby care class AND the hospital tour; Friday = Freedom (and work of course). Then it's off to Frostburg for my sister's graduation from grad school and back to Baltimore for her graduation party next Sunday. Phew. I don't know how I do it!!!

I also paid for my summer classes today. $1500 for TWO classes. It's a rip off if you ask me, but what are ya gonna do!

Today was also a fed up kind of day. First... I'd like to say that one of my LEAST favorite thing about this whole pregnancy is my stretch marks. It looks like a tiger clawed my sides, seriously. AND now I'm getting them on the front of my stomach!!! And the one's on the front not only itch, but they actually hurt. I will take acid reflux daily for no stretch marks (heck.. I have acid reflux daily anyway).

And then, as if stretch marks aren't bad enough, I'm completely breaking down about this whole body thing. I'm not one to complain about weight, my body or anything like that. And frankly, it annoys the crap out of me when people do (mainly because many of my friends are ridiculously skinny and complain that they're fat... which makes me feel huge even without the extra person inside of me). But today, when NOTHING fit except for the one pair of jeans that no longer look good and the big puffy maternity shirts that I'm not a fan of, I was a little more than disappointed. I feel HUGE. Even my maternity jeans are tight, especially around my thighs which has always been a problem area, so when you pair that with really tight shirts that seem to be shrinking length wise on me, I look horrible. I can't stand it anymore. I just want my old body back. I was looking at our honeymoon pictures from last summer and was amazed that I ever thought I had a tummy or waist issue then. I looked great... and tan... and that didn't help. So while I can't wait to meet and hold this little guy, I'm saying now that it might be a while for baby number two. It's extremely difficult to go from being not super confident but never worried about my body to the extreme I'm at now. I've done really well at being composed about it this long, but today I just need to vent. The stupid rain and cold weather don't make it any better. If I can wear dresses or skirts and tank tops, I might feel better, but with this weather I have no choice but to wear jeans and it really sucks when they don't fit!

Okay.. that's my vent. I was going to post pictures but it took me forever to even sign on because for some reason it wouldn't let me. So I'll save them for another day!


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